the awakening.

For the past few days since my arrival in my home country, I can't help but to think of the possibilities, of almost everything.

Like what if I never left to Malaysia? I would be a wholly different person, for obvious reasons, but what kind of person would I be?
What would I be doing?

What would I be wearing?

What would I be pursuing?

Would I be happier?

And to scare myself a little more, these vivid dreams I've been having are confusing me to the bone, and I can't seem to get a grip on it.

I mean, they are supposed to represent something. But the people who are in it are hardly ever in my life, or maybe it's just me who overlooked.

Maybe I'm taking them for granted.

I don't know what it means, and what's worse is that, if I don't then who would?

I've been avoiding people, but it seems to get me nowhere.
I need someone to navigate me.

But I can't always have someone.

I'm in so much conflict with myself.